Sunday, December 23, 2007
Its a wonder why i suddenly want to write a blog after such a long time has passed. Haha i realised i only update my blog once every 2-3 months.
Suddenly within me are mixed emotions and feelings. Throughout the last few months many questions have popped out in my mind with no definite answers to it. Probably i am in the valley of my life, going through a wilderness period where everything seems so still so quiet, yet so troubling and confusing. Experiencing the real world out there, where broken families are prevalent, where backstabing is common place, where human pride is first, where hope is lost, where everyone seems to just want to get away from everything for a few minutes can be real tiring.
I wonder whether i have lost my focus. Or just that i have slower my footsteps in life to see the real pain and suffering out there. I wonder how many of us really stop and see that mom with daugther selling tissue paper out there at tampines mrt, how many of us really see that rebellious kid quarreling with their parents, see a youth with no vision wasting their life away. Have we become efficient in doing things but lost the heartware of doing things. I wonder.
Is the pursuit of excellence blinding us to the fact that when we started out doing things, we did it out of love, and we just wanted to do our best because we want to just make a difference. In our midst of busyness in excelling in whatever we do, have we lost the time to stretch out that hand to a needy person?
Many questions keep popping in my mind but no answers. Silence is deafening. Seems like i have a hit a rockwall in many sides of my life. Finances, relationship, ministry, career.... I want to get away suddenly from everything and everywhere to be dug and hidden somewhere(maybe burried for a year). haha
I wonder how many of my friends can tell that below that simling face of mine is someone who always sees and reflects upon his life. Someone who always thinks deeply, ponder about life, and just wishes to simplify his life. Cause in simplicity there is innocence, and in innocence there is an untold happiness. I like what it says in the Bible.
"Love never fails...." 1 Cor 13:8 Whenever i am not sure what i am supposed to do, i would think if you love that person what would you do?
Maybe some of my questions i have wlll never be resolved till Jesus comes back. But one thing i can trust "In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comfort delights my soul"
"Heal my heart and make it clean, Open up my eyes to the things unseen..Show me how to love like you have loved me... Break my heart for what breaks you...Everything I have for Your kingdom's cause... as I walked from earth into eternity.......
