Friday, September 28, 2007
I was deciding what i should share here in my blog following the few weeks of experience in NIE that i mentioned in the previous post. I decided to start with the most important thing i felt just on thur night.
As i was reading my friend's kejin blog and talking to my friend Sharryl over the phone. Suddenly a revelation hit me. It was really all of a sudden. I still vividly remember there was a sudden gush of blood, a sudden surge in the spirit within me, it was a strange sensation. Anyway what i felt was that i was supposed to take the gospel of love to the world. Hmm.. to tell the world the simple stuff that God loves them and wants to have a friendship with them to give them comfort, rest, true friendship, true concern and love.
Even as i was sharing with jianye over msn that what i felt was my calling, i felt a surge of God's presence in the room within that split second. And within another few minutes another of God's confirmation came, i suddenly received a call that i have two newcomers. So i know and i know and i know that it must be a God thing.
It suddenly make all what i am experiecing in the past weeks make sense. The wonderful friendship i have with kejin, ainin, xueyu and gang, the close friendship i have with bingyan, weixian, zhuoxiong and my group members lying, kejin, sharryl and mejiao. I was asking God non stop for answers the past few weeks. I ask God the one thing that i desire to know so desperately, why is there such innocent and true friendship outside church that sometimes i feel is lacking. Maybe i dont feel it...maybe i am numb i really dont know
God did replied me....
John 13:35 By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.
Then it then dawned on me why Jesus said that. Cause that's what the world is crying out for... that true love of God, that acceptance by God, that companionship of God, that caring fatherly figure of God. I begin to understand.. sometimes out of our busyness is the ministry and serving..we have forgotten the most fundamental and most basic thing in life...to bring that love of God...whether its within the four walls or outside the four walls, thats what make people want to go church,
No wonder God said in Matthew 6:34
For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? What good do we profit, if we multiply our groups, hit our monthly attendance but we have lost our own soul. Losing the ability to sympathize. not caring for others anymore just because we are busy, no longer tolerating and loving others that are different from us. God does not need another robot to bring in the souls. What God needs is someone who has a real heart for the lost, who genuinely seeks the lost souls, who cares for their needs.
When i began to ponder over all this a bus trip, tears flowed down my eyes, i understood why i was called, i understood why i been through the rough patches of life.. i cannot sympathise and share and saved if i havent been through all this...Truely like what pastor always say the heart of the matter is the matter of the heart...I realise as a chrisitan, i have matured this one year... no longer that willful and judgmental Christian who leads an unbalanced life but progressing to be a chrisitan who demonstrates love and concern whevener i am...The journey ahead of me is still long...but at least i am progressing in the right direction...
"Praises will not be enough to show how my love for You has grown...Nothing matters when You are here with me..In the end just to hear You say "well done" bowing before your throne"
