Friday, September 28, 2007
My blog has been literally dead for months. I was thinking i might as well shut it down.. But just now as i was on the bus pondering over some thoughts... i just wanted to blog it down.. Haha so here i am.. to blog down some random thoughts of mine...
Actually the past 2 weeks has really set me thinking about a lot of things. I know i am supposed to be busy over my nie assignments, children day celebration(big day), the many different kids and stuff. But somehow my mind has wander off. I felt this 2 weeks my life although moving fast as usual, theres a certain slowness to it. I know i am contradicting myself but its a strange feeling i dont know how to explain. There is a sudden awakening of my soul and my feelings that i havent been in touch for a long time.
I have been busy busy and more busy, but suddenly despite all of my life moving forward at a furious path, i seem to be outside, looking observing. Its a strange position to be in. But somehow God's presence and touch is in my life. Its really hard to put down in words what i am feeling now. Its just that i am somehow at a strange crossroad of my life. God is revealing to me some stuff as i move forward..
Its strange as all of this stuff that i am experiencing is stuff i am feeling outside church. Thats what complicates matters i feel. Learning to experience God and feeling God's direction in the marketplace is a whole new dimension and requires a new dimension of faith. I feel lost at times actually not knowing how to maintain a delicate balance between church maketplace and ministry
But sometimes i do feel God's presence in the midst of all the things. And somehow its a leading, a confirmation, that i am somehow on a right path..I must admit that sometimes i feel i am not that one that should be doing all this... i feel why did God call me in a way that seems different, that seems wayward, that i am not even sure of. I would prefer to be on the bandwagon, where that simple me just do my best to make a difference. That has always been me.. and will always be me.
Anyway i will share my of what i felt God speak to me in the next few post. I cant imagine i actually wrote so much without basically saying much
"My heart and my strength many times they fail...But there is one truth that always will prevail.. God is the strength of my heart..."
